Trusting that, when this kind of thing comes up. --Tree ..... It can help the person being drawn "out" to acknowledge that the group could benefit by including this person / what they're bringing (if you believe that's true), it's just that on balance you see it serving the group more to not do so at this time. --John
Key choice point: how much space to allow for this emergence, vs. staying with pre-set agenda. --Tree..............................Appropriate Boundaries is one of the ways a group needs to Balance Structure and Flexibility. - wiki
Often a moment when someone needs to step forward to rein it in; yet from the internal perspective of the one bringing the issue forward, they are the ones being called to act courageously. --Tree
When the group is converging (or needs to be) is when it's most important to draw boundaries. When group is in divergence (or needs to shift that way), it's not. I really wish I could combine this vote with Tree's for structure/flexibility above, I just think we're choosing different flow/rhythm cards to keep in mind when considering whether to draw a boundary. I think it's very important to have a flow pattern represented, and that this or structure/flexibility would be more whole than either Priority Focus (convergence/structure) or Follow the Energy (divergence/flex). --John................................Groups with new members coming in should be prepared for divergence. Groups that are in the convergence phase of Divergence and Convergence Rhythm should probably not be accepting new members. - wiki
Noticing that these political/oppression concerns running throughout society come up in our groups, and oppression can take many forms. --Tree
When difficult situations like this arise, it is vital to stress the need for believing people are acting and speaking in good faith. -- Tom
Is this group's culture to suppress these kinds of concerns, or to let them dominate? What's needed now? --Tree
These kinds of concerns arise in a historical context. --Tree
In order for this to work out well, the needs and validity of each person's voice needs to be honored. In a highly charged situation, giving any voice privileged treatment will generate toxic residues. -- Tom **** Drawing a boundary is easily seen as disrespecting the person or people being unincluded, so honoring them as clearly as possible (while still drawing the boundary) serves relationships and the larger whole(s). --John
Can you (honestly) frame the obvious uninvitation in a way that is an invitation of a different sort? What is the opportunity for them in not participating? --John...................................Membership questions always relate to the Invitation. - wiki
I'm not officially marking this one, but i acknowledge that it's often a useful skill at these points. --Tree .... Helping an individual feel truly heard is THE primary way to open them to the group and the group to them. If we want to get past this difficult point in the process without toxic residues, this may be the most important skill. -- Tom
Appropriate Boundaries are a manifestation of the Power of Constraints, so this is invaluable context to have when considering drawing a boundary............................Remembering the Power of Constraints can help people to accept or even appreciate a decision to draw boundaries. - wiki
Is it part of this group's purpose to deal with these concerns? Is it a therapy group, activism toward a related cause, or what? --Tree ........ Agree that whether drawing a boundary at this time serves the group's purpose is a valuable question, and I think Convergence/Divergence gives a more specific and more valuable focus to that inquiry than the more general flow patterns of purpose/intention/priority focus/follow the energy.
How does this concern relate to the particular intention for this setting? That helps figure out whether or not to go into it. --Tree
This is part of what goes awry if the appropriate boundary is not set, the space gets dominated by one or a few people. --Tree ... I put purple for Shared Airtime pointing to Appropriate Boundaries. --John..............................Shared Airtime supports Appropriate Boundaries; part of why we set the boundary is so that one person will not take over the group space. - wiki
If the role for this person at this time is not to participate, what is their role? --John
A minute or two of silence can often help a group reorient out of their disturbance to see and undertake a creative approach to the dissonance that has emerged in its midst. -- Tom
.