What are the stories people are leaving with - especially those with meaning for the group's future? - Tom
One mode of Distilling. --Tree
Almost all significant differences and conflicts are grounded in the stories we tell ourselves. An important part of holding those differences realistically is actually sharing and hearing our various stories-we-tell-ourselves about it. Sometimes that, itself, ends the problem. Other times it offers needed perspective to address it directly. -- Tom
Often experts talk in ways that are hard for ordinary people to understand. Ask them for stories and examples. -- Tom
Often telling a story of what has happened to us helps make our feedback more hearable, useful, and compelling. -- Tom
Stories are often used to exemplify large patterns as the show up in daily / personal / group life. -- Tom
A possibility is often best presented as a story, sometimes as an "imagineering" or "backcasting" story in which the possibility is described as having already happened, sometimes with "history" showing how it "came to pass". -- Tom
When we assume good or ill in others, that is just a story we tell ourselves. It is often useful to share "the story I'm telling myself" and to really hear (see Listening and Mirroring) the stories of other people's experience of whatever's going on. You almost always find good intentions behind even the most distressing situations. - Tom
The harvest is a current story of the group.--Tree
People feel honored and respected when we show interest in their story -- either their life story or how their day is going or their version of whatever disturbance just happened. -- Tom
Include in the invitation the story of how this conversation came to be, in a way that highlights its special character and importance. -- Tom
When you listen, you put together a story, and can then offer it back if appropriate. --Tree
Maps can be used to tell a story. Having a narrative framework provides context for the data. --Tree
Your job as a mirror of what someone is saying is to not just reflect back words they said, but to really get into their story and let them know you are there with them. It doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean that they really have to know that you can see what they see and feel what they feel. -- Tom
Changing one's view of a constraint to an empowered one often means changing one's story about the situation. --Tree
Often Ritual involves the telling of a group story of the sharing of stories from group members or others, mostly to invoke a sense of connection, shared being or meaning. -- Tom
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