If our Purpose is greater than us individually and our relationships, then Tending Relationships needs to be done within the context of pursuing our purpose, and cannot totally colonize it. -- Tom
To Tend Relationships we need to tell each other what we need and how we are affecting each other. -- Tom
Tending relationship means knowing each other's histories & context. --Tree
Hosting is a form of tending relationship. --Tree
Relationships often get tended in Nooks. --Tree
Playing together tends relationship. --Tree
Relationships are best tended when what's happening in the moment is viewed in the context of what's good and bad in the relationship as a whole. -- Tom
Everyone in a relationship should have a fair chance to speak what's true for them. -- Tom
Relationships are grounded in the stories the participants tell themselves about what's going on and what it means. These stories can be nurturing or toxic, but they are always powerful. Best to make them conscious and develop or revise them consciously to best serve the relationship and the people in it. - Tom
Blame and victimhood are toxic to a relationship. All participants are co-creating whatever is going on and need to find creative roles for themselves in making healthy what happens next. -- Tom. If each person takes responsibility, e.g. for initiating with the other, then the relationship will stay strong. --Tree
All too often when a relationship has problems, one side really doesn't understand the other and needs someone else to help translate. And, of course, multicultural and multi-lingual relationships need language translation. -- Tom
Relationships live or die on our ability to see the other person's point of view and to see our relationship in larger contexts. -- Tom
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